What Men Really Want

Ladies, I have come to this conclusion .. according to the analysis of my previous relationships and my readings .. let me give you some advice … We can throw all our stupid self-help, why- doesn't - he - love - me books out, because this is all we need to know: Men will treat us the way we let them ..

There is no such thing as “deserving” respect; you get what you demand from people .. if you demand respect, he will either respect you or he won’t associate with you … It really is that simple …

Honest communication is top priority for men .. They want a woman who answers questions honestly, and perhaps even volunteers information .. They want a woman who confidently asks for her wants and needs to be met .. They want a woman who can see the truth and tell it like it is while communicating with kindness .. Men want a woman who can communicate without being too critical, who cares about preserving his and her dignity ..

Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally .. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity .. Ladies, please note that they don’t want someone clingy .. If you are one person who has her own set of friends and can hang out by yourself, you are closer to hitting the jackpot ..

Men want no manipulation of any kind .. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals .. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready .. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong .. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing ..

Men want a partner who can laugh at herself and who has courage and strength .. They want a woman who can see her part in relationship dynamics and own it .. She has to be emotionally stable .. Men want a woman who is developing herself personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional experience ..

Fidelity is an absolute must .. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a “roaming eye” and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship .. Many may define commitment as fidelity plus the willingness to work on the relationship — even when the going gets tough ..

Most men want acknowledgment and appreciation from women .. The most powerfully romantic card a woman could give a man on Valentine’s Day would not be one that tells him how much she loves him and adores him .. No, the kind of card that he would keep and show his buddies (who would react with stunned awe and envy) would be a card in which she tells him how deeply she respects and admires him, how much she appreciates all he does for her and their family ..

So ladies, how about you write a card to your man, telling him genuinely how much you respect him, and see how he reacts? Let me know in the comments below! And Guys, let me know if I’m right .. 

More to read :

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-daniels/10-types-of-women-a-man-w_b_2911111.html

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/men-really-want-woman-224000399.html

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/what-men-want#slide-1

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/exclusive/dane-cook-new-album-advice-for-women

http://joshfults.com/tag/what-men-want-in-marriage/#oogleto:http://joshfults.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/what-men-want

Love and Life

A lovely story – Very Very Touching !!! 

This story tells us something about LOVE & LIFE .. How our expectations can be a mismatch if we are not ready to listen and understand ..

My husband is S/W Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders ..

Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness ..

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments,like a little girl yearning for candy.
My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired .. There are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought .. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him?

 

And finally he asked me: “What can I do to change your mind? ”

Somebody said it right… It`s hard to change a person`s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: “Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind. Let`s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?” He said: “I will give you your answer tomorrow…. ”

My hopes just sank by listening to his response. I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes …. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but….please allow me to explain the reasons further…..This first line was already breaking my heart .. I continued reading ..

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand…and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face …

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die … ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. .. and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk…

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread …. 

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone … That`s LIFE, and LOVE.

When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness .. Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms .. It has never been a model .. It could be the dullest and most boring form … Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands … AND THAT`S LIFE .. So what are you cribbing and complaining in life .. find the best in your partners, appreciate and acknowledge it … today … now.

To Be Or Not To Be .. Single ? That Is The Question …

Single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others …

I like being single, because I’m always there when I need me ..

Being single doesn't mean that you are unloved, unwanted, unhappy, or unappreciated. In the end, it’s wiser to be single, then in the wrong relationship ..



Some people believe that :

Marriage is destiny .. Divorce is a decision ..

Sadness is destiny .. Happiness is a decision ..

Meeting somebody is destiny .. Keeping him in your life or not is a decision ..

We have no influence on our destiny but we sure have every influence on our decisions …

So is being single a twist of fate or is it a choice we make .. ??

Do we decide not to get married or is it predestined ??

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with a very dear friend of mine .. he knows this great young lady who in our culture, missed “the train of marriage”, an old spinster .. cause she’s over 40 and is still single .. in his opinion this young lady is one of a kind .. pretty, attractive, intelligent, funny, witty, successful, comes from a good family .. so he cannot see any reason why she is still single .. if he weren’t happily married, he would have married her himself .. ..

To him, the way he described it .. it was like arriving late at a banquet were the whole buffet has been wiped out by the guests but an extremely delicious cake which nobody touched .. with the right shape, the perfect ingredients and all the yummy toppings .. so why didn't anybody claim it .. ?? Why hasn't anybody approached it ??

I thought about it a bit .. then using his same example .. I told him that maybe they find the cake too much to digest .. no one has a stomach strong enough .. they all are afraid they would get indigestion .. so they prefer to be safe than sorry ..

or maybe the cake doesn't really want to be eaten .. why messing up the perfection .. preferring to stay in one piece .. not wanting to be cut in pieces and scattered here and there .. and according to the law of attraction it just transmits this to the outside .. so nobody touches it ..

Or maybe the cake is just waiting for the right one to come and claim it all in one piece .. the right one .. very rhetorical .. ?? Typical ??

maybe it is just her destiny ..

This is what I could come up with .. I think that there are some great women who stay single because no one dared to approach them .. maybe intimidated by her looks, her intelligence, success .. afraid not being able to handle her .. but maybe if they tried, they might find out that there is nothing intimidating about her ..

But I also know some great women who by choice remain single .. The marriage institution is just not for them .. turning down proposal after proposal .. that is their decision ..

And some great women just have bad luck .. been in many relationships .. trying everything possible to make it work .. but still it doesn't .. it just wasn't meant to be .. so that is destiny ..

And I know a few women who would like to have a partner .. not to live with .. but to experience stuff with .. to share with .. to communicate with .. not every single day .. but every now then .. get married ?? maybe .. but not in the traditional sense of marriage .. meaning, to be committed to the same someone cause they feel like it .. when they feel like it (provided they meet someone who shares the same sentiment) .. these are single some of the time, but again not in the traditional sense of being single .. and committed some of the time .. they made a choice .. to have both .. these women are in between .. ..

I can’t really give a clear answer .. it could even be all of the above in one case .. I don’t know ..

The one thing I know is .. now a days in my culture .. many people who are married wish they would have remained single, and many singles, unlike decades ago, are very happy to have remained single ..

Either destiny or decision .. I think every one should make the best out of every situation .. single or married or in between, all still have so much to appreciate …

P.S.: All of the above could apply to men as well .. I just took the women’s perspective .. since the main question was about a woman ..

Heart Damage Control

So .. He spent several years with you then made up a series of excuses to break up only to marry

another chick several month later ??

Ok, it happens … you are not the first and sure won’t be the last .. you didn’t see all of this coming, made all the wrong decisions, made up all possible excuses, and still he broke up with you. Is it the end of the world?? you might feel so now, but it’s not ..  Now you are probably feeling regret .. well that won’t help .. it will only be wasting more time crying over the years you lost .. is that true ?? .. were those years really lost ?? Stop thinking like this & let’s do some damage control ..

Do you remember how many days you fell asleep smiling and woke up with a bright face because of this relation .. Remember how everything you did in those years was exactly what you wanted at that time .. You had your share of smiles of smiles, laughs, and experienced so many exciting events, that you couldn’t fall asleep thinking about how great it is .. SO DON’T REGRET !

You might feel trapped & strangled cause every where you go seems to remind you of how it was when you were together .. consider those nice memories & be grateful to have had them .. try to break loose .. this is the time .. get your best girlfriends and go on a cleansing trip together, some where you’ve never been before .. you’ll be amazed there’s so much out

 there in the world you haven’t seen or discovered, and the globe is not limited to the places you’ve been with him .. the trip could make you even realize that being single again is not that bad at all .. leave everything else behind you and welcome your new life ! Who knows you might meet someone new ..

When you’re back .. Go pamper yourself for a full day in a spa while your best friends get rid of everything related to him & redecorate your room .. this will spare you a lot of heartache ..

Lastly, when the morbid day comes and you get the news he’s getting married, just remember he was not flawless .. recollect in your mind everything that used to drive you insane about him and pity the woman who has to live with it for the rest of her life .. 

Remember you still have a sea full of fish to choose from, this time the “experienced more mature you” is choosing ..