I've Learned ..

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you .. All you can do is be someone who can be loved .. The rest is up to them ..

I've learned that no matter how much I care some people just don’t care back ..

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don’t love you with all they have ..

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it ..

I've learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but whom you have in your life that counts ..

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become ..

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel ..

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you ..

I've learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel ..

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated ..

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different ..

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that ..

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others .. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself ..

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don’t love each other .. And, just because they don’t argue, it doesn't mean they do ..

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief ..

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt, and you will hurt in the process ..

I've learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish .. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it ..

I've learned that heroes are people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences ..

For more life lessons : http://www.nytexaminer.com/2011/11/more-life-lessons-from-david-brooks

God’s Cake

"When God doesn't do what we want it's not easy; it never has been and it never will be. Faith is the conviction that God knows more than us ... and he'll get us through. Disappointment is caused by unmet expectations ... and it's cured by revamped expectations. Don't panic ... don't give up ... be patient ... God is in control."-Max Lucado

 We've all experienced disappointment in our lives and inevitably will experience disappointments in the future ...  But in those disappointments are lessons to be learned, wisdom to be unlocked, and believe-it-or-not ... opportunities in disguise. Disappointments can help us to grow if we allow God to reveal His purpose and if we trust that He will reveal His plan to us in perfect time ... It's important that we don't let ourselves get stuck in our disappointment by allowing bitterness and resentment to replace our hope and trust in GOD. How we respond to disappointments greatly determines the ultimate outcome ...

Sometimes we wonder ..,

 'What did I do to deserve this?' or 'Why did God have to do this to me?'

Here is an explanation! 

Just because we can’t figure out what God’s doing right now, doesn’t mean it won’t make sense later .. This story explains this ..

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she’s failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away. Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the Daughter says, ‘Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.’

‘Here, have some cooking oil,’ her Mother offers.

‘How about a couple raw eggs?’  ’Gross, Mom!’Yuck’ says her daughter.

‘‘Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?’

‘Mom, those are all yucky!’

To which the mother replies :

‘Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves.But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!’ 

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God loves us .. He sends us flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning …Whenever we want to talk, He’ll listen .. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart .. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance …

The Awakening

Life doesn't always give us the things we want, we want because we see others have it .. Sometimes if we don't get certain things, we don't need to pull a face ... we just need to improvise and make the best of what we have .. Some of us may not get love, some matrimony, some may not get children, some don't have families and other plenty of things that we are told are important to derive happiness .. It's not the amount of things that makes us happy, but a strong attitude to live gracefully in the absence of it .. At the end, everyone is going to go empty hands .. Suit up and live life like it's your favorite game ..

I wanted to post this lovely poem called “The Awakening” by Sonny Carroll that was recently posted on the  Just Because I Appear Happy_Doesn’t Mean Everything’s Okay Facebook group ..  I thought it was so fitting for many of us ..

Introduction to The Awakening by Sonny Carroll

I actually began writing this piece in 1996 shortly after coming out of a long drawn out and painful break-up. I was a total mess. My life was in shambles and as I tried to make some sense of what had happened, and why, I began to write The Awakening. This piece is a compilation of all the lessons I learned and the observations I made about myself, about other people and their relationships, and of the wisdom that my most dear friend, Drane Uljaj, has shared with me over countless cups of tea.

The Awakening Sonny Carroll There comes a time in your life when you finally get it … When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out “ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.” And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. ……….This is your awakening.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the “reality of today” rather than holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize that much of who you are and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you’ve received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about ..

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect , and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK… they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a “perfect 10″…. Or a perfect human being for that matter… and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that it is truly in “giving” that we receive, and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of “creating” and “contributing” rather than “obtaining” and “accumulating.”

And you give thanks for the simple things you’ve been blessed with, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about – a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.

And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors, including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you’ve learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships – how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always come through… and interestingly enough, it’s not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren’t done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns – anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say “I was wrong” and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to Say NO. You learn that you don’t know all the answers, it’s not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships, and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet “your” standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that “alone” does not mean “lonely” and you begin to discover the joy of spending time “with yourself” and “on yourself.” Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know - Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn’t change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn’t always fair and you don’t always get what you think you deserve, and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God… but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees, because you’ve learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you’ll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time – FEAR itself.  So you learn to step right into and through your fears, because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY… the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. And a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you TAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have prayed, not for the answers to my prayers or for material things, but for my “God” to help me find the strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.

Remember this:- You are an expression of the almighty. The spirit of God resides within you and moves through you. Open your heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal and empower you.
My “God” has never failed me.

Practice Perseverance

Webster’s Dictionary defines the word “Persevere” in this way:

“To persist in a state, enterprise, or undertaking in spite of counter influences, opposition, or discouragement.”

 To “Persist” means:  “To take a stand, stand firm; to go on resolutely or stubbornly in spite of opposition.

What is Perseverance?

 Perseverance is the will to see things through until the end in spite of fear, obstacles, discouragement, and opposition. With perseverance, we can accomplish great things.

Here’s how to keep the practice of perseverance at the heart of everyday life to achieve the extraordinary.

Ask Yourself:

 What are three goals you’d like to accomplish in the next three months?

What action steps do you need to take to reach these goals?

What are some reasons that may stop you from attaining these goals? (i.e. lack of time, money, fear, or self-doubt)

“I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature.”- John D. Rockefeller

“Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all of your energies on a limited set of targets.”-Nido Qubein

“Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”- Mark Twain

This is so true we need to stay involved constantly in our business, learning always to achieve success .. Persevere and success will come to you .. Keep at it ..

Perseverance is a day-by-day decision not to give up .. Some situations, feelings, and challenges can, over time, cause us to lose heart or lose our way .. Fearlessness, guilt, joy, jealousy—are feelings that support or impede our efforts to persevere .. When we feel lost, overwhelmed, betrayed or exhausted, we need to know we have a choice for how we respond .. And we have to nurture the rewarding times, when we experience the joy of working together on something hard but worthwhile, when we realize we’ve made a small difference …

Practice Perseverance!

1.       Commit to your Dream. Make a promise to yourself that you will keep the commitment to your goals; your dreams; your purpose, no matter what obstacles are presented to you along the way. Write this commitment down in a few sentences and what it means to you. Let it sink in. When an obstacle presents itself, read what you wrote and recommit to your dream. Vow never to waver so you are assured to stay on the path to success.

2.       Keep a Positive Attitude. Stay optimistic and enthusiastic no matter how hard it can be at times. Help yourself to do this by creating a daily list of positive affirmations that counteract with your negative beliefs. For example, if you have a belief such as, “I don’t deserve to have what I want in my life,” replace it with, “I am attracting abundance and all that I want into my life.” Recite these affirmations daily until you have retrained your mind. Your positive attitude will help you through the tough times.

3.       Stay focused. Determine what obstacles you are facing right now that are preventing you from pursuing goals and dreams. It could be fear, self-doubt, disappointments, or simply a lack of time or money. Acknowledge all of these hurdles by writing them down on paper. Now move past them by recommitting to your goal and fully understanding that nothing can stop your pursuit because you are being called to your greatness. Be unstoppable!

4.       Bounce Back. Be a person who does not get discouraged easily. Be a person who handles rejection graciously by not taking anything personal. Be a person who is like this even if you are not. Rise to the occasion. With any setback, you will be challenged to make a choice of how you will react. The ability to make a choice is a gift. Choose to not beat yourself up, think about what happened, learn from your mistakes and, ultimately, press on for your own success.

And remember to stay strong, don’t let others steer us away from what’s in our heart!! We will eventually get there, just keep the fire burning within ..

Dare to dream and persevere .. ??  watch this ..

May We All Be Coffee ..

I recently read an e-mail that posed this question: “Which are you a carrot, an egg or a cup of coffee?” The answer may surprise you and you will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again ..

What can a carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee teach a young woman tired of fighting and struggling with adversity and heartaches?

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as when one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil; without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see.”

“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. “Which are you?” she asked her daughter ..

When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Think of this: Which am I? A carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzsUi9XgDes (a nice video)

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way .. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches ..

May we all be COFFEE!

If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man

If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man.
-a dude named James

Changing the words you speak changes everything.  Watch this video now, leave you comments below, and you can join now by clicking here.

-David Wood

This entry was posted in David Wood's Rants, Empower Network

Make It A Terrific Day

Never let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life .. Just because today is painful doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be great .. You just got to get there .. The best things usually happen when you least expect it .. So try to smile in the mean time .. And Have hope and not give up .. Not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have and all the problems you know you don’t have .. Negativity is a very nasty and contagious disease .. Remove yourself from all negative people, situations, and things .. Choosing to be positive will help you maintain a better attitude, better health, and mind set ..

“Life is a unique combination of “want to” and “how to,” and we need to give equal attention to both.” — Jim Rohn

The Four Rooms

Did you go in every room today ?? Did you air the 4 rooms today ??

How you ask ??

yoga, music, laughter, dancing, long walks, singing, good advice, candles, warm breezes, smiles that light up the universe, extra long hugs, delicious meaningful conversations, nirvana in a kiss, listening to someone’s heartbeat, unexplained phenomena, undeniable passion, camping  by firelight, empowering human beings, curling up with a good book, chasing clouds with a camera, curious debates and philosophizing, wishing on a falling star, roses, jasmine & lavender, fields of flowers, singing in the shower .. these are a few of so many ways ..